By Choya Randolph
If you’re a seasoned natural, you’ve probably had moments when you’ve simply HATED your hair. Having a hate/love relationship with my hair was something all my friends with natural hair could relate to. Because of this, I felt like hating my hair was normal. I must admit, my friends with straighter hair could not relate. I didn’t like that hating my hair seemed to be a thing for us coily naturals.
So in November, I got fed up and chopped my hair off. Not only that, I bleached and colored it orange. (Don’t judge me, 2020 beat me up.) Anyway, I felt like I was starting over and this felt liberating. No more length watching or feeling like my hair wasn’t enough.
I saw a video on Twitter where this person said positive things to their plants and it helped their plants grow. I did my own research and found a study performed by the Royal Horticultural Society. Researchers discovered that talking to plants can help them grow faster. If it can work for plants, could it work for my hair? Though I was done obsessing over hair growth, I thought saying positive affirmations to my hair couldn’t hurt. Here’s my experience.
On Monday, I decided to wash my hair. What’s great about having short hair is that it’s so much easier to manage. I hadn’t bothered my hair in awhile. Sis was in a bonnet begging for some conditioning. Because I recently bleached my hair, I told myself I’d do a protein treatment. But guess what? I didn’t. *laughs nervously* I washed my hair, deep conditioned, did a steam treatment, and moisturized using the LCO method.
When I wash my hair, I kind of space out. I wash my hair, put it in twists, and call it a day. This wash day, I decided to talk to my hair. Did I feel crazy? Yes, but it made me happy. My curls were lowkey poppin’ and I was loving the orange color. I thought “Maybe this positive affirmation thing could be more than five days?”
Tuesday was rough. I kept my bonnet on for most of the day. I work from home so I truly had no reason to style my hair. Am I supposed to get cute just to go to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal? No ma’am. This made me feel like I was already failing at this experiment. The only time I took my bonnet off was to put on a shower cap. Before hopping in the shower, I examined my hair and told her she was cute but I just wasn’t feeling it. I hoped Wednesday would be better.
Wednesdays are busy days for me. My To-Do list was longer than Cardi B’s nails. The deadlines were closing in and the meetings were piling up. Needless to say, ya girl was struggling! I had a meeting that morning that I thought would be over the phone but then I was emailed a Zoom link. My heart dropped. The meeting was about to start and my hair was nowhere close to presentable. In fact, my hair is orange….like actually orange. I pulled out my handy dandy head wrap and did what I had to do. I didn’t even have time to swoop my edges.
After my morning meeting, there was another meeting and more deadlines. I didn’t even have time for breakfast. Once the day was over, I ripped that head wrap off and plopped in bed. When I went to go take a shower, my roommate told me how much she loved my hair color. If my friend can appreciate my hair, why couldn’t I? Before hopping in the shower, my hair and I had a great conversation. Of course I did all of the talking but I hyped her up and it felt good.
Thursdays make me happy because they’re like Friday Eve and who doesn’t love Fridays? I had to film a video on Thursday so I actually had to wear makeup. By the time I finished my makeup, there wasn’t enough time to do my hair. This made me sad because I was looking forward to wearing my natural hair out. This was the first time in a long time that I actually wanted to wear my natural hair. Though this felt like progress, I chose to wear my wig, who I’ve named Jakneesha, so I’d be ready in time to film. Please don’t judge my wig’s name. She’s been there for me.
After filming, I decided to be a narcissist and take photos. This was the first time I had gotten cute in months. My Instagram deserved a lil something. Afterwards, I took my wig off like a hat and looked at my photos. It was serving America’s Next Top Model which made me feel so confident, I decided to take photos with my natural hair out. Though my hair was still in unpresentable twists, I actually liked the photos of my natural hair more than with Jakneesha. They weren’t good enough to post because those twists weren’t serving but I loved how my hair looked. I told my hair that she looked pretty and I think she agreed.
So today was the last day. I was happy that it was Friday so I started my morning off by telling my hair how amazing she is. I talked so much to my hair that it didn’t even make sense. I remember telling my crown “You are so beautiful and that orange is serving a good source of vitamin C!” See? Doesn’t make sense but it made me happy. It made me so happy that I decided to not wear a hair cap. Who was going to see me anyway? My roommate who already knew what my hair looked like?
With my hair being shorter, the twists weren’t lasting as long so I decided to retwist my crown. This may sound cliche but I felt connected to my hair. I didn’t say words of affirmation but I jammed out to music and simply enjoyed twisting my hair.
In conclusion, I would do this experiment again. Even if my hair doesn’t directly benefit from positive affirmation like plants, this experience made me feel more confident in my crown. Confidence in my hair is an accomplishment. I don’t have long curly hair, I have short type 4 hair that’s orange. My hair is the last thing to be put in a magazine but for the most part, I love my hair. Everyday I told my hair that she was beautiful and I believe that she not only heard everything I said but believed it too.