As a result I just let it grow. The ends were clipped when necessary but that was it. It just grew and grew. And the more my hair grew, the more tired and unimpressed I became. Sprinkle a little frustration and exasperation in there and you have a recipe for a hot mess. A hot TANGLED mess because that’s what my hair would be most of the time. Especially since my wash “day” was actually a wash weekend which started with shampooing, detangling (oh Lord!) to twisting to the final style reveal. All of that time and work spent on my hair. It got to a point where I would just wash and condition my hair, quickly put some gel throughout my hair and slicked it back in one. And Lord knows I could stretch a wash. I would wash my hair every 2, 3 even 4 week. Because honestly, who really has time for ALL of that? And washing and styling both of my daughters’ hair as well. Towards the end of it all I found myself cutting some major corners with styling, and not taking the care I needed to in order to minimize breakage during the wash process. I didn’t care. And once I didn’t care I knew it was time for a major change. Whenever I conduct workshops on hair care I always ask the question of the attendees:
“How many of you want long natural hair?”
The majority of hands go up. My most recent workshop was attended by women with type 4 hair that wanted to know all about how to take care of their – ah hem – unmanageable hair. And most of the them wanted long, natural, type 4 hair. Why do I stress the hair type? Because it’s not secret that it has it’s fair share of challenges. And while there are many beautiful type 4 curlies with long hair, I’m not one of them. On purpose. Why? Because I’m not willing to put the time, dedication and work into protective styling and the host of other practices I would absolutely need to employ for length retention. And I don’t care. Not anymore. It got to a point where I would look at my hair and feel completely unmoved and uninspired. It was so blah. And I felt like how my hair looked. Now don’t get me wrong. I could get it together when I needed to. I would pull off a wicked twist out for a few days and then the hair would go back in one. And I would accept the consequences of it eventually becoming a tangled mess with single strands knots, mid shaft splits and – you get the picture. So I had a huge decision to make. One that I definitely wouldn’t take lightly. And I thought about it for months and searched for the perfect style. And before I chopped it, I asked myself one important question:
Do I really care about having long natural hair?
And the more I thought about it, the more I was repulsed by it. If I’m to be honest with myself, I can’t handle it. Not at this point in my life where I’m the busiest I’ve ever been. And the reality is that in order for your hair – especially type 4 hair – to retain length, a lot of time, dedication and care has to go into the process. And I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t care to. What I wanted was to feel inspired and excited about my hair and about myself. I needed to feel and exude confidence. And while many will say that hair doesn’t make you who you are, when you have a wicked hair style it sure helps!
So I booked an appointment for a transformation. Colour and cut. I put my hair in the hands of a very capable and talented stylist who knew natural hair. And the final style blew me away. I finally have my “signature hair style”.