Should Fathers Have A Say In How A Mother Cares For Their Child’s Hair?

Father DaughterI can vividly remember the days of torture when my mom would struggle with my extremely kinky hair—the tugging and pulling was a nightmare. She would hush and soothe me as I cried (and cried some more) then she’d bribe me with ice cream.

Finally frustrated from all the flinching when my hair was being pressed (and my scalp burned!), my mom decided to purchase a PCJ Relaxer Kit for kids. Sure, with chemically straightened hair, the cries stopped temporarily, but they soon returned when the relaxer would tingle and burn my scalp. What was once just a daily routine of tackling my mane became the cause of many spats between my parents.

The truth is my father didn’t like to see me in agony and didn’t agree with altering the natural state of my hair. He would rant and rave about what the relaxer was doing to my scalp. He felt my mom should have figured out other alternatives to managing my very coarse mane. Easy for him to say, no? He wasn’t the one who had to put up with the daunting task, so my mother didn’t care. She had to do what she considered was best for her and I, and life became much easier because of her decisions.


I asked Jamal, a 30-something-year-old father of a 2-year-old little girl, his thoughts on how his wife styles and cares for their daughter’s hair. This is what he had to say:

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